Getting Ready For School

I don’t get to see my ex-step-daughter’s that much because we live on opposite sides of the country so when I do it’s a real treat…

They may not be of my flesh & blood but I love them very much.

EXCEPT @ 7 o’clock in the morning when they’re getting ready for school…

OMG!!! Pure Evil infests the world for about 45 minutes to an hour and no one is safe.

Not even the cat!

They will eat you for breakfast and spit out your remains and stomp your eyeballs out of your torn, wretched and bloody carcass.

And smile & laugh insanely while they do it.

Which brings me to my point-

Don’t EVER get in between a teenage girl and her bathroom time first thing in the morning while she’s getting ready for school!

EVER!!!!!

I’m not even playing!

I don’t care how BAD you gotta go!!! My advice in situations such as this-

You have 2 options:

Option One- Find a dark corner to hide in & soil yourself. Yep, you heard me, just go ahead & get it over with. Saves a a whole lotta problems in the long run…

For those of you who are not comfortable with Option One, there’s always Option Two- Drive to the nearest gas station to do your business & if you happen to soil yourself on the way, consider yourself lucky to be alive & walking around in poopy pants because I’m here to tell you if you DARE try to defile the water closet during their bathroom time, they will kill you.

Sigh…

Whatever happened to bashing the alarm clock into submission @ 6:50 in the morning, sliding into your jeans, throwing on a T-Shirt, brushing your teeth and being @ the bus stop by 7???